If I think too hard on it
an ache forms behind my eyes and nose.
It drips down into my chest
and expands,
pushing outward,
trying to escape my body.

I don’t let it.

Maybe because
I want to hang onto the aching,
the dull, expanding pain,
the invisible presence that lets me know
that I’m still here.

I am alive,
however much I want
to disappear.

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