9.5.15

©2015 E.Gosney — Oklahoma City

Late Night Ramblings:

I live for the experience. Ah, but I have you fooled. I don't live for being in the moment. No, not for that part of the experience. I live for the afterward. For the time I can reflect and look at the photos and write about the highlights and the frustrations and the never-want-to-forget-this moments. Maybe that's a bad thing. I can certainly see people saying that. Well, I guess they HAVE said it. That life is about the journey, not the destination. That we should live in the now, and live like there's no tomorrow and on and on. But hey, in my experience, there actually is a tomorrow. And it's full of journal entries and blog essays and conversations with those who weren't on that trip or in that museum or driving down Route 66 with you. So I guess those live-in-the-now people could be right, but just not right for me. I soak in the images and tastes and feelings and I use them for fuel in the days to come. To give me something to create from. To relive. And not just for reliving the good parts. On the contrary, I often depend on the crappy parts of existence for my most satisfying pieces. Reflecting on those heartaches and angry outbursts reminds me how to feel. How I have felt. How things compare to one another and how rich and incredible this life is. So yeah, I plan and I anticipate, and I seemingly plow through those mapped-out days so that I can get to the other side, where the recording takes place and the storytelling can begin. Because, for me, that's what I live for. The stories. The remembering. And the looking forward to when more fodder will come for more stories, more remembering, more writing, more life.

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