9.26.12

May I suggest never saying to someone, "Wow, I like you, because you're so much like me!" One, that's hints at severe self-centeredness and narcissism, and two, I'm guessing that other person likes you well enough for being YOU, but there's some glaring flaw in your make-up that has them thanking their lucky stars they are NOTHING like you. So when you make the comparison that you and they are very similar, it will probably put a damper on their ... life.

Just a suggestion.

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I have a couple habitual, go-to phrases when walking away from a conversation. Such as, "Well, have fun!" even if they aren't doing anything or going anywhere. I think people are catching on to my insincerity and lack of verbal skills. Catching on like a moose to a speed boat.

***

I can do a pull-up now. IN YOUR FACE, WORLD!

***

I kinda feel like I'm on speed right now, thus the strange topics and exclamations. Although, I've never been on speed. Or any narcotic, legal or illegal, come to think of it. But even if I weren't afraid of prison, health problems, STDs (those fall into health problems, huh?) or divine retribution, I wouldn't do drugs. I'd drink. Boy howdy, would I drink. I once said this, and also that I wondered what it felt like to be high, during a seminary class. May I add to my first suggestion that you never do this either. I may never have been to an AA meeting or drug counseling, but shoot-dang did that seminary class turn from Bible study to intervention faster than a humming bird on heroine. I learned my lesson: Keep all curiosities about illecite substances to yourself.

Which, obviously, I just failed to do, as I publish this on the Internets. (That 's' was on purpose, grammar-Nazis.)

Peace!

-eg

4 comments:

  1. Wow, reading this made me feel like I was tripping! I can totally follow you thought processes. We must be very similar and alike and stuff, which is why I like you. Ha-ha!

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  2. That. Was. Hilarious. And I think it is pronounced irra-nets.

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  3. I've always thought that we were "just alike", but now that you can do a pull-up, well, that just ruins it.

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