If wife-dom was an applied for position, my resume would be outstanding. I have a college degree, dental insurance and a full-time job. My school loan debt is minimal, plus I have a car (and it runs, whaaaaat.) I have a great sense of humor (you know that's right) and let's not forget about being Relief Society President. I make some pretty mean cake-box cookies and I eat all my vegetables. My hair is pretty fly and I play the piano AND the ukulele. I know cursive. How many people under 30 can say they know cursive? And use it daily? Yeah, that's what I thought. Bonus.

Oh, and I have child-bearing hips. Shoot dang, do I have child-bearing hips.

I think you can see my qualifications are extensive. If I had to say what my one weakness is, it's caring too much. Loving too selflessly.

After reviewing my resume, I've decided to stop applying for the position of wife and start accepting applications for a husband. I can't offer a 401K, but I do allow for paid vacations. You can't have it all.

Well, ha, let's be honest — If you have me, you'll have it all. And then some. (Child-bearing hips.)



  1. Shoot Dang!! I love reading your blog! Your are ever so funny. BTW have you seen Downton Abbey? If not you should

  2. This. is. FANtastic. Love it. And love you.

  3. Haha. I love it! And its all so true too!!

  4. HAHAHAHA! That was hilarious! I agree. You are much more qualified than most married women I know, including me. I think you should post this on the ad board at the Wilk.

  5. Please don't post this in the Wilk. I don't know if that would turn up the most... desirable men. I have such a funny and awkward sister.

  6. Shoot dang, you do look better going than coming. And yes, post it in the Wilk! DO it, do it.