1.2.12

I had a dream last night that we were walking, you and I, around a large house of white hallways and crown molding. There were doors, too, so many doors.

You spoke to me of days gone by, of details that didn't merit repeating. I searched the faces of the people we passed — modern dancers, barefoot and brightly costumed; old men, smoking cigars, fedoras atop their silvered heads; friends, staring mindlessly into nothingness, headphones fused to their ears. These people did not belong in the house. But it seemed, neither did I.

My chest tightened as you spoke, a frustration and nervousness filled my ribs with lead. I did not want to hear what I already knew, but I waited for you to finish, so I could ask a question.

I never did ask that question.

Your every pause for breath left me scrambling for sentence structure, only opening my mouth to have you fill it with more unwanted words. Every opportunity of an empty hallway was stripped away as a corner was turned to reveal unwelcome faces, peeling away my confidence.

I just wanted to know why.

Awaking from the dream was a relief, to escape the eyes of strangers, the maze of hallways, the ceaseless ramblings pouring from your lips. But as I laid silent, cheek pressed into a cheap, green pillowcase, dissatisfaction surged through my limbs. Why could I not ask it? Why would you not tell me?

And why, why did I not open any of those doors?

So many doors.

-eg

3 comments:

  1. Perhaps subconsciously you know what's on the other side of those doors, but if you don't open them, you won't have to face your fears...

    "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do".
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

    "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain".
    -Frank Herbert

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think this is one of my favorite ones you have written. I felt like I was there. I could picture everything you were saying and yet you weren't "wordy". It was just enough for my imagination to do it's thing. Have I told you what a great writer you are? You really should write a book. Or at least compile all these shorts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. EG; I am impressed with your writings. I agree you should start writing a book. This was wonderful and it made want to know more and what the outcome could be. Keep sending posts. These are wonderful. XOXOXOX

    ReplyDelete