© 2011 e.gosney

"I'm in love! I want your permission to marry, Papa!"

"There's a proper manner in which these things are supposed to happen, such as the boy would normally be standing next to you, in a moment such as this! Where is the BOY in all this, Kitty?"

"I haven't spoken to him as of yet."

"The young man is unaware of your intentions?"

—"The Village"

This makes me laugh, because I do this in my head more often than I'd like to admit. Or, another example, from Mr. Michael Buble:

"I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down"

—"Just Haven't Met You Yet"

I think it would disturb some people how often I think myself "in love" with a boy just to change my mind a week later. And what's more disturbing, I suppose, is how incredibly easy it is to decide I no longer have interest in them. Some people have control over their dreams at night. I have a pretty good control over how I feel about men: If I sense they are out of my league, interested in someone else, or otherwise unattainable, I simply find a flaw and/or several excuses why I don't need to like them and voila! It's done.

(I'm guessing this has some deeper psychological meaning, like how I am afraid of trusting people so I don't venture in at all, or how I lack confidence in myself so I come up with reasons not to put myself out there, thus protecting me from the risk of confidence-crushing experiences.)

And I wonder why I'm not married! Ha ha.

Happy Tuesday! :o)

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