I had a dream that I was a surrogate mother. After I gave birth (which, apparently, I was asleep during, because I don't remember it) I hadn't lost any weight. Oh the humanity! When I woke up (in real life) I thought, "I wonder how well surrogate mothers get paid. I could probably do that. I could wear a wedding ring in public so people didn't give me dirty looks."

I had a dream I was in love with a married man at work. He didn't know. His wife didn't know. I just watched him from behind my computer screen.

I had a dream that I got fired, so I moved to Paris and became a street performer. The pay was better than the job I got fired from.

I had a dream that I woke up before 10 a.m. and got out of bed.
Ha! That wasn't a dream. That was real life and I deem today a success because of it.


  1. I have also considered being a surrogate...I think it pays about $10,000 a baby, which isn't bad if it's a second job. Right?

  2. You'd be a good surrogate. Way to reach for the stars.

  3. I know that I'd want more than $10,000. I think that's why I kept all my babies. That, and I liked them just a little bit.