Last weekend my roommate Sarah and I drove the 4.25 hours up to Rexburg, ID. (It took about 3.45 because Sarah is a speed demon!) I loved visiting my friend Erin and her fiance Billy; they are so sweet to each other and so fun, not all awkward and PDA-prone. Gross. They have known each other since high school, dated in high school, then dated in college and are getting married in April. It's been over 5-years in the making. They know each other so well--moods, tendencies, mannerisms, sense of humor, etc. If they weren't good Mormon kids, they'd even know each others sleeping habits. (Ok, I was thinking things like snoring or cover-stealer, but I realize "sleeping habits" could refer to a lot more...my bad.)
I don't know if I'd have the patience to get to know someone for five years before marrying them, but they have the right idea. A kid in my ward has been dating his girlfriend for 4 weeks, known her for about 6, and already bought the ring. Uh, that means that he's probably seen her PMSing once, and who knows if that was just a good month. Plus, they have only known each other in the spring--who is grumpy and depressed during spring? They are still infatuated with each other! They might "know it's right" and I believe them, but that doesn't mean their marriage won't be filled with more problems because they didn't take the time to work through pet-peeves or learn to deal with her depression or his extreme nerdiness before their living with each other. And Heaven forbid either of them have an anger problem.
BYU is full of these quick marriages, and that's scary. Especially when these couples have children so quickly too. After listening to many married couples and also hearing advice from professors, counselors and leaders, kids don't solve marital problems, they create more. Am I right? I have to make sure I'm not shooting my mouth off too much seeing as I'm not married myself.
The point of this pointless rant is to commend those who are patient and smart when it comes to marriage by getting to know their future spouse first and to vent about the foolish couples who mistake infatuation for eternal love. I'm not saying it can't happen--many a GA have said they fell in love when they first saw their future spouse--but they also didn't meet one day and get engaged 3 weeks later and get married 4 weeks after that. In my humble opinion, that's just asking for trouble.
I got home from my trip from Rexburg seeing a half-dozen 18-year-old girls with diamonds on their fingers, but I also saw Erin and Billy and that gave me hope. Hope that there are wise kids out there and hope that I'll find a boy like Erin found Billy.